Show not tell

In room 8 we are looking at show not tell for writing e.g a telling sentence would be-The house needed repairs.
For a show don't tell sentence I wrote-
The house creaked and moaned like a grumpy old man,it had broken and cracked glasses. It looked dead and deserted.The paint was peeling off the walls like how skin peels off from a sunburn.
This is an example of an extended simile.
By Mia :) .